"I love him." My eyes dropped.

My heart dropped.
"Do you... are you." How did she get me like this?
"Yes... I love him."
Why couldn't she of lied to me?
"Why were you planning on telling me?"
"Well- right now I guess." She laughed, but stopped when she realized that I wasn't.

"Do you... Love him, more than me?"
She nodded.
"I do Josh. I do."

"You think, or know?" I asked

"I know Josh. I love him more then I could ever love you."
And there it went. She apologized, and left, taking my heart with her.  I just stood there. My mind racing 'Run after her you idiot, tell her how much you love her. How much you need her. Just get her. You'll regret it if you don't.'
"Hayley-"I called.
She turned around and stared at me.
"Yes?"
"I-

Sorry for the shortness of this :/ BUT HEY. it's a preveiw. I'm too lazy to put the picture. Expect the full tomorrow.

                I felt worthless, without her, I didn't care how happy she was with this Chad guy, I was supposed to make her happy, and giddy, and laugh, I was supposed to make her complete. Apparently I was the only whole one in this relationship. I didn't care how cruel or- who was I kidding? I only want her to be happy, but preferably with me, not some other guy. My mind started to race, how could she forget me was I really that forgettable? I shook my head, for all I knew he was just a close friend, or a family member or- Forget her Josh, she loved you she forgot you, she hurt you. Why would you want her back? Because I love her.

                I felt a tiny tap on my shoulder; I turned around, and say her.
"Hayley" was all I could mange to get out
"Joshua" She laughed. She sighed and let her head awkwardly rest on my shoulder.
"I missed you a lot." She smiled and kissed me
then it all came rushing back. I felt awful for thinking all of those things. She tried pulled away, but I forced her to stay. I could feel a smile forming on her face, as her hands intertwined with my hair. I finally let go of her, I must of caught her off guard because I head a tiny 'wow' escape from her mouth, I laughed.
"I guess that's Josh for 'I miss you." She giggled
I just nodded. I just- didn't want to ruin it.
"It was so boring there." She replied as she slowly lead me to a bench
"And of course I couldn't even call you." She laughed placing her head in my lap. I just chuckled.
"I'm just happy you're back." I heard her yawn, and she slowly closed her eyes.
"This is what I missed" She laughed
"You miss... sleeping on me? i feel so important" she laughed again.
"Well yeah, you're just unnaturally comfortable." I smiled
"Well I missed you sleeping on me." She laughed before closing her eyes.
I don't know what made me notice it but my eyes got heavy. I sighed slowly carefully getting up; I slowly smiled at her and picked her up. She mumbled a few words but didn't complain. She was precious and delicate. I walked home with her in my arms, just staring at her. When I finally reach my house I slowly laid her down in my bed. I slowly laid next to her and placed my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me. I'd worry about Chad in the morning.

                I felt tiny movement in my arms, and sure enough there was Hayley. I smiled to myself before leaning in to kiss her. She smiled and looked up at me.
"Hi." She smiled
"Hi" I yawned.
She smiled and yawed, I slowly got out of my bed and she did the same.
"Hayley-"she looked up at me.
"Who's Chad?"
Her body tensed up a bit
"It's not what you think Josh- I love you."
I nodded my head.
"But who is he? And why are you with him?"
She just continued to look down.
"Josh-" she began
"I just don't know how to explain it."

Sorry it's so short! I have no clue whats gonna happen next... yay? Update soon? Maybe.

Cause We're So In Love.

I kissed her, never wanting to let go, she laughed slowly and tried to push away, I wouldn't allow it, I kissed her back with so much force we both went crashing on to the bed, she smiled and I made my way down to her neck, she moaned quietly, and pulled me closer. Just then the door opened we both jumped off of each other, our faces glowing red. Hayley's mom rolled her eyes, then smiled at Hayley, "We have to go, I'm so sorry Joshua." I sighed, "One week." Was all she responded, then kissed me lightly on the check, "That's all I get?" I asked her. Hayley's mom cleared her throat, and I blushed deeply. I smiled at Hayley, 'I better get going anyways, homework, and such. I'll see you in one week." And kissed her on the check. She giggled before whispering something too quiet to be heard. "Bye Ms. W, bye Hayley."  They both smiled, and I walked away. I already missed her. I already needed her. I ran home quietly, once I finally reached home, I missed her even more. Who says we can't know what love is? Because me and Hayley, we're in love, and we always will be.

One week had passed and I hadn't gotten a word from Hayley, I was worried, she was all I could think about. She was the reason I took another breath, why I woke up in the morning, I love her. I ran to her house, with a vase of flowers car that I'd never seen before was parked there, but I didn't think much of it, I knocked twice and waited. Her mom answered, "Is Hayley here?"  She shock her head, "You know where to find her." Then she smiled and let me in, I nodded and went to her door.  I was about to knock when I head her laughing, a heard a males voice talking to her. She laughed again. My heart sank. I shook my head it's a friend, she's allowed to have boys who are friends. I knocked. She didn't bother unlocking the door, she just screamed her response "Mom, I told you, you aren't allowed in here, when Chad's here." I heard him- Chad laugh before kissing her. My heart was torn. I walked down the steps and walked up to Hayles mom. She just stared at me, before I saw an oh appeared on her face "Josh- I'm so sorry." She got up and hugged her. A few tears fell, "Can you give these to her?" she nodded.  I left, but before I left her yard I walked up to his car and kicked it. The alarm went off, I heard a swear come out of his mouth and Hayley giggled. I ran.

Nothing that happened could affect me. Not now. For I had no heart to feel with, she had torn it in half. I couldn't believe she forgot me. Or did she forget me? Did she just, fall out of love with me? Did she even love me in the first place? I shook my head. I didn't know what to do, so I left my house. I ran, I didn't know where to, my legs were guiding me, they decided where we where going. I stopped running at the tree, the tree in the park, I put my hand over our heart, it looked like it was craved yesterday. I looked below it, there she was away, her name with that Chad guys Hayley and Chad, it just didn't sound right, me and her- that was music to my ears. Remember she's with Chad. She doesn't care about you... anymore

Sorry about the length :/ I'll most likely post tomorrow... well today- and sunday. I'm painting my room tomorrow.... well today :D.  i'm not so sure about the banner... thoughts.... well just thoughts in general?

1. Josh fucking Farro. Wow. We all fucking thought he was cute when his hair was long, but when he cut it short he became baby daddy worthy with a simple snip of scissors.
2. He's in fucking Paramore. One of the most BAMF bands on the face of this planet, an possibly several others.
3. He's the shy quiet type. But we have no problem with that because the quiet ones are sure loud in bed. He'll get freaky with you. He'll do whatever the fuck you want and probably show you some new tricks too. And what about the the lip ring? That'll come in handy. Every night will be a sexual adventure.
4. He rarely smiles or pulls faces in pictures. And even though he's fucking adorable when he does either of those things, we don't mind. Why? Because of that fucking stare he always has on. Imagine him looking at you like that while he fucks you senseless? Staring right into your eyes with his dick inside of you. Now tell me that's not fucking hot? Don't deny it, the evidence is right there between your legs.
5. Look at this shit. It's not much but you love it. You wanna run your hands and lips and tongue all over that shit.

Number 4 makes me feel awkward inside... like really akward. I DID NOT MAKE THIS.

1. Paramore
2. Joshua Farro
3. Money
4. Cds
5. MAC Makeup
6. Concert tickets
7. Singing lessons
8. Guitar lessons
9. Books
10. Ipod/mp3player

9 Musicians/Bands You Love:

1. Paramore
2. NeverShoutNever!
3. The Icarus Account
4. Love, Robot
5. Panic At the Disco
6. Foo Fighters
7. Gregory and the Hawk
8. Eminem
9. 3OH!3

8 Things You Do Everyday:

1. Laugh
2. Smile
3. Sing
4. Sleep
5. Listen to music
6. Feel hopeless/sad
7. Dream
8. Hope

7 Things I Enjoy:

1. Love
2. Dreaming
3. Sleeping 
4. Singing
5. Music
6. Spongebob
7. Games

6 Things That Will ALWAYS Win Your Heart:

1. Paramore
2. Joshua farro
3. A Sweet Statement
4. Sappy love quotes
5. Love
6. Friends And Family.

5 Favorites:

1. I don't know D: - Author
2. Singing- Hobby
3. Atumn/spring- Season
4. (french)Vinilla carmel tea... om nom nom. - Drink
5. Paramore - Feeling sorry/ all i wanted/ Only exception/ Looking up/ Playing god/ anything on riot/BNE/AWK(is)f -song

4 Smells You Enjoy:

1. Cotton Candy
2. Grass
3. That new album smell
4. (french)Vinilla carmel tea

3 Places You Want To Go:

1. Japan (and/or) China :D
2. Franklin, Tenn.
3. Some Place In Where I Can Meet All My Online Friends In one Big Room. (:

2 Holidays You Love:

1. Mah Birthdah!
2. Christmas

1 Person You Would Marry On The Spot:

1. JOSHUA FUCKING NEIL FARRO

          

And I stare at the phone; he still hasn't called. He will call, I reassured myself, no he won't Hayley, why would he ever call you, does he ever? "No." I slowly mumbled to myself, a few tears fell down my checks, but I slowly wiped them away, I don't cry, crying shows the weak you, the vulnerable you, and you can't risk it, not again. Wasn't I already? Josh held my heart in his hands. But he didn't care about me. I was just another girl that wanted him. I was just another girl that fell head over heals for him, another stupid, idiotic female, except I wouldn't give him my all. So I wasn't even worthless to him, I was dead, gone, non existence.
            And then you feel so low, you can't feel nothing at all. I hated to admit it. But Josh had stolen my heart, somehow got past my security, and left with it. I had never noticed until he torn it in half, and tried to return it to me damaged. But I still took it. Because he had once held it, and I had once thought I meant the world to him.  

 And you flashback to when he said forever and always. It was a cold and rainy night when Josh told me he loved me, and that he always would.  I thought he meant it, he looked like he really did, but of course he didn't. I don't know why I had trusted him; I just thought I could change him. I don't know why I am still waiting by the phone, He was just, my drug. I didn't know how to live with him, no matter how pathetic it sounds, we dated for nearly a week, and I was hooked. I needed him to live, and he could live just fine if I died, right now.

Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest? Made you run and hide like a scared little boy? I looked into your eyes, thought I knew you for a minute. Now I'm not so sure.

Where is this going? Thought I knew for a minute. But I don't anymore. I waited for hours for him to call, but that never happened. Tears fell. I couldn't stop. I ran to the bathroom, and slammed the door. I couldn't live without him; I pulled a razor blade and let it graze my skin. Blood. It felt good, really good. The pain, the thrill the...

Ring...ring...ring...  I ran to the phone, and surely enough it was Josh, I was about to pick up, but no, that's what he wanted.  "Hello? Hayley, uhm, I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tomorrow night, at my house... with my family, I'd really like-"

"Hello?"
"Hayley?"
"Yeah."
"So would you?"
I felt giddy.
"Mh... I guess."
"I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."
"Bye' I whispered after we had hung up. Josh wanted me, he could have any girl he wanted, and he choose me.

I'm thinking about writing a new fanfic :D not positive,

My red hair slowly fell to the floor, ad a few tears went down with it. Once they finished up I looked into the mirror, I didn't just see myself, my new bald self, but I saw my brain tumor.  It was about the size of a lemon and deadly. I looked to my right, and saw Josh; he couldn't bear to look to me. The doctors excused themselves and left.  I place my hand on my head, in disbelief. 'Hayley-" Josh began, but as soon as I looked up at him, he stopped. "Hayles, hair grows back." I nodded, I couldn't find my voice, "I know, Josh, I just, can't believe this is happening to me" my voice was raspy, cold, and hard... it fit my mood.  He nodded "You just grown up think cancer and tumors, and dieses are something that other people get, not you. You grow up thinking you're never going to die, and have a fairytale life." I finished. I shook my head. "You're going to be okay." He reassured. We both knew my chances of survive were low.  He slowly kneeled onto the ground and pulled out a ring. "Hayley, will you marry me?" he asked, "Josh, what happens if I.... if I don't come back?"  My eyes stared into his as I slowly blinked away tears. "You will." I shook my head, "Josh, I'll make you a promise. If I survive, we'll get married. And if I don't, you have to get over me," he nodded, a smile on his face, he leaned in to my ear and whispered, "I'm getting married." A small laugh parted from my lips, it felt good, and I haven't laughed since I found out about the tumor.  The doctors entered the room. "I love you Josh, and tell everyone else I love them" I whispered "You can tell them yourself." He smiled. The wheeled me into the room, "are you ready?" they asked me "as ready as I'll ever be." I replied. The hooked me up, "now count backwards from ten." I nodded "Ten, nine, eight... sev-en, si-x, fiv-e, fo-our...-"

(Josh)

I sat there, she had to come back. We were going to get married. Her hair would grow back and we'd live a normal life. "Everything will be alright."  Zac said, I nodded "I'm just... nervous. I know that she will come back... but..."   Zac nodded. "The thought of her not coming back..." my voice broke. "But she will." Zac reassured. "But what if she doesn't." I asked, "She will." I sighed, and closed my eyes.  It all started a week ago,  Hayley had a headache for weeks, but convinced us she was alright,  I wanted to make sure that everything was alright, so we brought her here, they did a CT scan and found a tumor the size of a lemon.  They made plans to take it out, but they confronted us that the chances of her not surviving were high.  Hayley who began crying herself to sleep believed she wasn't going to wake up, and secretly I had my doubts, but I stayed positive, I didn't want to freak her out more. I stayed with her; I picked out a ring to propose to her with, and just never really thought about her not coming back. Everyone is here right now, her family and friends, my family. I was the only person allowed to see her before her surgery.  I placed my hand in my pocket and felt the ring, the ring that she should be wearing right now. The ring that she'll be wearing in just a few hours. A few hours? More like twelve, Zac slowly shook me. "Josh, we have to leave."

"No, not with out Hayley." I replied.  He nodded and left me in the dark waiting room. "We'll see you later" I whispered. I closed my eyes and feel asleep. "Mr. Farro?' I raised my hand. The doctor in the white coat walked up to me. He kneeled down to my height, "We're sorry, we did all we could, it spread to quickly." Tears sprang into my eyes. "You can see her."  I nodded and got up, not caring about the tears that were pouring from my eyes. I got into the room and saw her. That doesn't even look like her, But it was... is. I looked at her, "Hayley..."  Tears poured out of my eyes.  I stuck my hand in my pocket.  "I love you." I placed the ring on her finger.  "But I can't ever get over you." I leaned down and kissed her.  I slowly exited the room and found everyone there. They all looked up at me, their faces all a blur. I shock my head. "She's gone."

I'm not going to lie, and I feel like a wuss, but I cried while writing this :/. This idea really just came to me when I had a headache for a week and my sister telling me it could be a brain tumor. At first I was going to have Hayley survive, but I decied not to. then i thought, i'll have Josh get married and name his daughter Hayley.. but nah. I'm sorry if this is bad, and I appoligse for any gammar/speeling mistakes. and sorry for the banner. I made it in 1 minutes.. really.